Maybe It Is Easy Being Green

A few weeks ago, I wrote a post about how a task as simple as trying to maintain a beautiful neighborhood can become political.  Since that time, we have had two straight weeks of rainy weekdays and sunny weekends. 

This change in the weather has led to a boom in GDP (Green, Dense Plantlife) growth in our neighborhood.  With the exception of the 99%'ers and the Freemarket Proponents, who are still sporting spotty lawns, everyones lawn is dense and green.  This has led me to form another conclusion based on this experience.  It is:

"What you do matters very little, so long as you do something.  What matters the most is the cyclical nature of the environment that you are in."



Authors Note: I still don't understand why the couple I refer to as "the Crazies" are mad at me.  I simply offered to fertilize their lawn for them with 100%, all-natural fertilizer that is manufactured by the Schmidtberg household.  Seemed like a win-win to me since I was offering them a huge discount to support a local entrepreneur. 

It's Not Easy Being Green

A few weeks ago, I was having dinner with my father and he started to pontificate about his views on the world.  One of the things that he said that really struck me is paraphrased below.

“When you get enough people involved in working towards a common goal, things inevitably become political.”

At the time, I was very skeptical of this claim.  Since then, I have witnessed an example of how even the most trivial or innocent of endeavors can become political.  This example proves the wisdom in my father’s statement and is described below.

The Example:

Three years ago, my wife and I moved into a new neighborhood.  This neighborhood is full of new construction houses and, at the time, we were the first house on our street.  The street has since been fully populated with younger, middle-class couples like us. 

Also like us, they are first time home buyers who are eager to tackle the challenge of taking care of their house, lawn, and the overall appearance of the street.  This is the common goal: for each family to individually have a beautiful, green lawn and for the street to be something we are all proud of.

Year # 1:

During the first summer, there were three families on our street.  Times were simple back then.  The lawns had all been freshly planted and we received more than our fair share of rain during the spring.  This led to the lawns growing thick and green very quickly. 

There was also a landscaping company that was employed by the neighborhood developer who was making weekly trips to our street as new houses were built.  He offered us all a huge discount for a fertilization and irrigation package, which we all took.

That summer, the grass was green and the landscaping bills cheap.  Life was simple and that was a good thing.

Year #2:

Things started to change during year #2.  First of all, the number of occupied houses on the street doubled to six.  Many of the new occupants decided to go with different landscaping companies or to fertilize their own lawns.  In addition, the landscaping company used in year #1 had been fired by the developer and was no longer in the area.  These two factors combined to drive up the cost for fertilization treatments for the original three families.

Year #2 was also one of the hottest and driest summers in recent memory.  A water ban was put into effect by the town and many people’s lawns dried out by the end of the summer.  This led to even more discontent and people started developing their own theories on how to maintain a healthy lawn.

By the end of the year, lawns were brown, landscaping and water bills were heavy, and everyone was frustrated.  Life was no longer quite so good or simple.

Year #3:

It is now year #3 and the street is fully developed and occupied.  This has doubled the amount of stakeholders yet again to twelve.  Year #3 has also started off with terrible weather for lawns: drought like conditions for three weeks followed by a full week of rain but no sun.

Like the US economy, the GDP (Green, Dense Plantlife) growth for our street is stagnant.  Everyone is starting to panic and, once again just like the US economy, political factions have formed based on their proposed solution to the group’s failure to achieve its collective goal.  They are as follows:

On the Left:

·         The Greens, who champion going all organic with their fertilizer.
·         The Crazies, who are a sub-set of the Greens.  They have started buying certified 100% all-natural fertilizer that is “manufactured” by the Milwaukee Metropolitian Sewerage District.  
·         The 99%’ers, who blame the greedy developer for taking advantage of us and installing sub-par grass and are demanding that he pay to have it fixed.
·         The Stimulus Packagers, who are throwing money at every potential solution offered.

On the Right:

·         The Free Market Proponents, who point out that green grass grows just fine on its own, so why should they waste good money watering or fertilizing it?
·         The 1%’ers, who have the greenest lawn on the street.  They hire their own high end landscaping company to water, fertilize, and cut their lawn every week but refuse to share the name of the company or its pricing with anyone else.
·         The Spending Cutters, who swear that landscaping companies are horribly inefficient and that they can do everything cheaper by themselves.

Conclusion:

As you can see, the simple challenge of creating a street of beautiful, green lawns has become as fragmented as the US political system.  Turns out my father was right after all, get enough people involved in something and it is bound to become messy.

 

When I Walk On By....

There has been a lot of literature released on the differences between men and women.  “Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus” is the most famous, but my favorite is titled “Men are Like Waffles, Women are Like Spaghetti”. 

Last week ago, I entered into my own case study on the differences between the two sexes.  Although it has only been a few days, I thought that I would share my preliminary findings since they are fascinating.

Case Description:

This past month, my wife and I embarked on the annual ritual for middle class couples: I booked us a summer trip to the beach and she began freaking out about having to wear a swimsuit.  My wife has been worrying at this for a few weeks now and last week she finally came up with a solution.  After much thought and fretting, she decided that we both need to go on a diet.  *Side Note* It never ceases to amaze me how her concerns turned into an “us” action. 

We have been on this diet for exactly 6 days as of this writing and have reacted very differently to the challenges that dieting presents.  I have found these differences very interesting.

Her Response:

In hindsight, my wife’s response to “our diet” was predictable.  The first thing that she did was discuss it with her girlfriends to find out if any of them are embarking on similar adventures.  Sure enough, our neighbor was having a similar experience.  After discussing their concerns with each other, they quickly setup a support system where they go to the gym together and share the results of their “Lose It!” food tracking app.  This essentially gives my wife a buddy system for tackling her challenge. 

The other aspect to my wife’s reaction to the challenge of getting in shape for beach season was an emotional one.  From my insensitive male perspective, she seemed to be playing hopscotch with emotions:  optimism that she was going to reach her goal; pessimism that she wasn’t going to reach her goal; frustration that she didn’t start losing weight immediately; and most of all, an intense, vocal desire for all the foods she could no longer eat. 

My hypothesis is that both of the above responses are typical for females and, frankly, are probably healthier than my masucline response.

My Responses:

Before reading my response, keep in mind that we have been on “our diet” for 6 days and no weight has been lost by either of us.

I believe that the first part of my reaction to the challenge of getting in better shape was typical of a male engineer.  I immediately downloaded an app to my iPad to determine to amount of calories that I would need to ingest to reach my target weight by our vacation.  When that number was startlingly low, I then used the same app to determine the how I would need to alter my workout schedule to be able to eat more food.  Once a satisfactory balance was reached, I then quietly began going about my business working out and eating healthier food with little fanfare or discussion (OK, full disclosure - I did my fair share of trash talking).

The second part of my reaction is the one that I found my interesting.  From the minute “we” decided that we were going to get in better shape, I have been overflowing with one feeling: self-confidence.  The very first day of the diet, my pants fit better than they have in years, every girl seemed to be checking me out, and I flexed every time I encountered a mirror.  It was one of the best days I have had in a while and I am pretty sure I did some pretty ridiculous strutting.

I will say it again because it bears repeating.  All of this was done before I had lost a single pound.

Funny thing is, I think that this is a pretty normal reaction for men.  Don’t believe me, just go to the local gym around 5PM and watch all the guys peacocking in the free weight section.

Conclusion:

It’s still way too early to come to any definitive conclusions on this experiment, but I believe that its preliminary results are interesting and entertaining.  I will keep monitoring as we proceed and may provide additional updates in the form of future blog posts.  

Until then, it’s back to rocking out to my internal DJ.  He's been playing a continuous loop of “I’m Sexy and I Know It” and "I Bring the Sexy Back" for 6 days now.

My Take on Change Management

“The only person who truly enjoys change is the baby with the dirty diaper”

I don’t know who said that, but for the longest time, it has been one of my favorite quotes.  I’ve used it to remind myself of the need to embrace change and roll with the punches when work goes through its seemingly annual re-organizations and process changes.  It has served me quite well and until recently, allowed me to avoid most of the stress and anxiety that goes with change in the workplace.

This changed a few months ago when fundamental changes were made within my group at work.  These changes drastically altered the way that we manage our business and made little sense to me.  Ever the opinionated one, I’ve made my opposition to these changes known and have caused quite a bit of stress for myself by resisting them.

It wasn’t until a recent conversation with a coworker that I realized I may have fallen victim to the trap that I had always been so careful to avoid.  I’d forgotten the above quote and tried to fight change rather than embrace it. 

To solve this problem, I’ve turned to a more powerful change management experience that I had at the gym last year.  At that time, the gym leadership had just finished renovating its locker rooms.  As a part of the renovations, they completely redid the men’s showers to go from a gang shower with multiple faucets to individual stalls.  I took this change in stride since, like I assumed most people would, I viewed this added privacy as an improvement. 

Much to my surprise, this caused an uproar with the group of older, often excessively naked, men who frequent the locker room in the morning.   For the rest of the summer their topic of conversation, often spoken as loudly as possible, was that it was “an absolute travesty” that the gym had given in to the “young prudes” who also worked out at the gym and preferred stalls to gang showers.

Coming back to the present time, I now realize how ridiculous my vocal protestations against change have been and I’d like to share my lesson learned with you all.

“When it comes to change, don’t be the naked, old man in the locker room.”    

Look Dad, I Do Listen

A funny thing happened to me when I was doing my research for yesterday’s post. 

It occurred when I was watching the 60 Minutes piece on the EU.  At about the 10:50 mark, they interview a Greek economist who states emphatically that “you cannot tell a sovereign people when to hold elections.  You cannot tell a sovereign parliament when to dissolve itself.”  He is referring to efforts by the German politicians and EU leaders to influence Greek politics.

The funny part came when I found myself unconsciously, and quite audibly, responding to the economist with one of the great Dad-isms from my childhood.  “I believe in the golden rule.  I have all the gold, so I make all the rules.”

I can’t decide if my father was consciously training me for a career in the German Finance Ministry or if I have simply inherited more than just a “distinguished” nose and funny last name from the German side of family. 

Either way, this whole episode proves that I at least listened to some of what my parents were saying all those years.

Sechzig Minuten

Last night, 60 Minutes did a quick piece on the European Union (EU) and its financial woes.  The piece, which can be seen here, focused on the intra-EU tensions that are beginning to rise as a result of debt crisis in many of the EU’s southern member states.  It also argues that the richer EU nations are bailing out their southern neighbors in order to maintain the flawed union because they are afraid of the uncharted territory that is an EU break up. 

While this may be partially true, I disagree that it is their primary motivation.  Instead, I argue that the northern countries are fighting so hard to maintain the EU because they are benefitting greatly from its free trade zone and currency union.  A perfect example is of this concept is the country that is being painted as the villain by the southern countries: Germany.

Modern day Germany has grown into an economic power house.  It is the world’s fourth largest economy and its per capita GDP is on par with the United States and other modern, wealthy nations.  In Europe, it is the dominant economic force.  It has the largest economy in any way that can be measured: total GDP or per capita GDP.  It also routinely runs a nearly balanced national budget, which is quite an achievement in Europe these days.  Most important of all, it is the world’s second largest exporter of goods after China and ahead of the USA.

It is this last statistic that is the most important.  Like China, Germany has a huge industrial base that far outstrips its own consumer market.  It therefore needs to export huge amounts of goods to maintain a healthy unemployment rate (Germany is between 6% and 7% now) and avoid political turmoil.  This is where Europe and the EU come into play.

The EU is essentially a threefold union.  These aspects of the union are:

1.       It is a free trade zone

2.       It is a common currency zone

3.       It is moving towards political union

I could write in length about my doubts regarding the feasibility of #3, but it doesn’t matter to this post.  The first two do.  They matter because both are currently being exploited by Germany to create a captive market for its export goods. 

Germany is the EU’s most efficient economy.  Its workers are among the most efficient and industrious in the world.  Doubt me?  Google “German engineering” and see what you find.  This efficiency drives the cost of production way down for German goods.  In a perfect world, countries around Germany would respond to this efficiency by protecting their domestic firms.  This would be done through either tariffs to artificially raise the cost of importing German goods or a favorable currency exchange rate to make domestic goods appear cheaper.  

Unfortunately for Europe, the EU has taken away this option from its member nations.  Instead, they are placed in direct competition with the German economic machine.  This has resulted in a scenario where many of the EU nations run trade deficits (see my post on Greece) while Germany runs a sizeable trade surplus.  It is also why Germany is willing to bail out its European customers to keep them as captive customers for its goods and economic growth.

When Hollywood Saves the Day

A few weeks ago, I wrote about my frustrations with books that get made into movies.  I now find myself in the strange position of relying on Hollywood to solve another of my literary problems.

In this case, my problem is that one of my favorite authors is writing a seven book series.  To be more specific, one of my favorite authors is taking forever to write a seven book series.  This series is the “Song of Ice and Fire” by George RR Martin and it has been in the works for over fifteen years.  It started with "A Game of Thrones" in 1996 and since that time, Martin has published another four books in the series.  These are:

·         "A Clash of Kings" in 1999

·         "A Storm of Swords" in 2000

·         "A Feast for Crows" in 2005

·         "A Dance with Dragons" in 2011

As you can see, the time between books has been growing substantially and, given Martin’s penchant for cliff hangers, it is slowly driving me nuts.

It is into this situation that Hollywood enters to save the day.  HBO has licensed the series and turned the first book into a ten part mini-series of the same name, “A Game of Thrones”.  This series was a wild success and much to my brother’s delight, HBO debuted the second season this past Sunday.  This season is based on the second book in the series, so it appears that HBO is taking the approach of one book per season.

Sad as it is to say, this fact excites me almost as much as seeing the series premier itself.  I did some quick research and found that Martin is currently outlooking the completion of book six, “The Winds of Winter” for 2015.  I also did some quick math and found that if HBO keeps at its current pace that it will only last until 2015 before it runs out of books to turn into mini-series. 

This means that Martin will have to start cranking on the sixth and seventh books if he wants to keep cashing those sweet HBO checks on an annual basis.  Hopefully this is the swift kick in the posterior that he needs to get to work writing.  Otherwise I may have to wait another five years for the next installment in both my favorite book and TV series.